Who’s Your Mama?

A friend of mine heard about my passion for genealogy and she came to me with a unique request. It wasn’t until she was thirteen years old that her parents revealed to her that a surrogate had carried her. Her mom had struggled with infertility and spent thousands of dollars on in-vitro fertilization before accepting that her eggs weren’t successfully creating an embryo.

Her mother even tried using a fertilized embryo with an egg donor and placing that embryo into her uterus, but she never received a positive pregnancy test. My friend’s parents explained how heartbreaking it was for them to fail at conceiving a child naturally, but they were determined to have a baby.

They weighed the options of adoption and surrogacy and felt that surrogacy would give them more control over their child. Surrogacy, in fact, would still allow my friend’s father to share his DNA with the child.

Curiosity Ensues

My friend explained that she didn’t feel emotional when learning about the surrogacy process, but rather she felt somewhat enlightened because she had never shared many similarities with her mother. She loved her mother and would always see her as real, regardless of her DNA, but genetically, this revelation made sense.

As time went on, my friend started to become curious about her surrogate mother. She didn’t feel the emotional need to find her “real mom,” but for scientific purposes, she wanted to know more about this woman. She wanted to know if this woman had any specific personality traits, quirks, or health issues that had developed since the birth. These things would be important to know if my friend ever had children of her own. 

Finding the Surrogate Mother

This is where her request for my services came in. My friend wanted me to use my genealogical knowledge to find her surrogate mother and get any information I could. I found her story to be very intriguing, so I accepted the offer right away. Because her parents had the name of the woman, it wasn’t difficult to look up the woman and begin my search.

It turns out that the surrogate mother has three children of her own. They are all healthy, close to my friend’s age, and live just a few towns away. The mother is also healthy and seems to be doing well for herself. I’m glad I could give my friend peace of mind in finding her surrogate mother and it’ll be interesting to see what she does with this information moving forward.


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